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The Number 1 Way to Get Rid of Destructive Habits

Activate Your Self Confidence - Elena Perella, Sentidu Life Coach
We are all creatures of habits. We stand up, take a shower, brush our teeth, dress on, have breakfast, read the newspaper, go to work, and so on.

Besides having habits that make us feel good, we also have those who do “please” us but are not so healthy. Take for example smoking, eating too much, not drinking enough water, not getting enough exercise, spending too much time on the couch watching tv, and behaviors that often leave us stressed, angry, worried.  
Although we often know that some habits are not healthy, we find it difficult to change them, and if we do succeed, we fall back again into the same trap.

Why do we persist and how can we stop?

We persist because our habits are stronger than we are. Contrary to what many people believe, our unhealthy habits are not our choice, simply because we are not so stupid to repeatedly keep doing something that harms us. Instead, we are forced to develop, mantain and repeat unhealthy habits. We are forced by something that we have inherited from our parents and family, emotionally. I call this a “family’s toxic emotional inheritance”, a toxic baggage of thoughts, beliefs, tendencies, ideas, emotions, inner conflicts, and unresolved childhood issues that drive our behavior and therefore drive our daily decisions and choices as well.

Often we are not conscious of this but our family’s toxic emotional inheritance is THE reason that we do things that otherwise we wouldn’t do and that we can’t easily stop.
With that said, can we take control over our choices and decisions? Can we free ourselves from our family’s inherited toxic elements that cause us detrimental feelings, forcing us to harm ourselves by adopting unhealthy behaviors?  

Absolutely, YES!

We do not need to fix our mindset to change our unhealthy habits. The concept of “changing your mindset” is oversold. Also, trying to change your destructive habits by addressing the habit itself is a waste of time and energy. Not buying junk food to not eat it doesn’t mean that you have solved that problem; you are simply ignoring it with the risk of falling into the same trap again, or replace it with another (even worse) unhealthy habit. Not to mention the frustration to monitor yourself constantly, like you were a thief in your own house.

Instead, we have to observe ourselves from the inside, identify what internal toxic element – a belief, a thought, an unresolved childhood issue, etc – is causing the unhealthy habit and take action to eliminate it from our system. What action to take differs from person to person and often a professional guidance is needed.

Here are a few benefits of eliminating your family’s toxic emotional inheritance:

  • You live your life and choose your own experiences
  • You let your body guide you in what it needs to stay healthy
  • You embrace failure, without beating yourself up and be able to move on
  • You develop high communication skills that were dormant
  • You enjoy a new level of flow in your life where there are many opportunities for growth
  • You activate the feeling that “you are enough”
  • You navigate relationships successfully

Remember, you don’t have to change your unhealthy habits - you have to let them go. And the key is to eradicate the rootcause: your inherited toxic elements. Although sometimes you can see progress fairly quickly, don’t expect to achieve everything all at once. And, most of all, don’t beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon. It’s a process - enriching, fun and not that painful as you might think. Know that once you start, you can make it.

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About the author

Elena Perella is NOT a therapist, a psychologist or a psychiatrist; she is a coach who focuses on helping clients indentify the real reasons behind their suffering and problems. Born and raised on the beautiful Mediterranean island of Sardinia, Elena is passionate about what she does, and with good reason. Elena coached herself through a severe depression, eating disorders and domestic violence and her experience has led her on a journey of discovery of how to break out all of these challenges. As a result she created Sentidu Life Coaching to help people experience their own transformation and break free in the areas they feel stuck

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