"Becoming aware that I was a product of my family's toxic convictions and tendencies was the first step to freedom"
In the beginning...
My story is probably not uncommon, and my own path to healing myself led me to want to heal others as well.
I grew up in Teulada, a small village on the beautiful island of Sardinia, Italy. I was in my early teenage-years when I began to suffer from a binge eating disorder. People thought of me as a kid who loved eating and thought that my excess weight would disappear when I grew taller. It didn't happen. And nobody in my family understood that I had a serious problem. I ate to satisfy my longing for love, I ate to fill in an emptiness in my heart, I ate to quiet the scream inside for thinking that I wasn’t good enough to receive the love of my mother. At that time I wasn't aware of what drove me to eat so much. I craved more, and the more I ate the worse I felt. In secondary school I was bullied because I was fat and ugly. I didn't take very good care of myself and had nobody in my family who taught me how.
When my father died, I felt as if the floor fell out from under me. For suddenly the realization hit me that something important had been missing all along, and we would never find it now. We hadn't have a good relationship because he was devoted to his job and never took the time to be with me, to create a bond, and guide me through life. My love for him was not met and I, unconsciously, suffered a lot for this. His distant behavior made me believe that I wasn't worthy of his love. This not only hurt me deeply but convinced me that I wasn't worthy of the love of anybody else, especially men. When he died, my binge eating turned into bulimia and again, I was left alone with my sorrow, angry at my father because he left me alone and not knowing what to do with my life.
My awakening and the beginning of my healing process
But my father's death also marked another turning point in my life. It was then that I began to see things as they really are, to understand the real reasons for my problems. Now I could clearly see the connection between past events and present experiences, that all these events in my life were manifestations of a toxic emotional inheritance from my family. Once I had gained this insight, so simple, but so central, solutions started to come, almost effortlessly. Eventually I recovered from the bulimia. My body regained consciousness of its own needs and now it guides me in my eating to stay healthy: what, how much and when. This way, I always feel full of energy, I don't waste food and money, and don't diet anymore because my weight is stable.
As if it wasn't enough...but I didn't give it up and fought for the right to be
But there was another tough challenge waiting for me: domestic abuse. I spent ten years in a toxic relationship, another manifestation of my family's toxic inheritance. Thanks to the previous experience, I knew where it was coming from: although I wasn't responsible for my partner's violence against me, I knew that in some way I – weighted down by a history that wasn’t really mine - had allowed this violence into my life.During those years, while suffering under terrible circumstances, I worked on myself to allow the solutions to come. The more I discovered the internal factors that allowed such harmful circumstances in my life, the more the solutions came. Bit by bit the situation around me started to support my decision to leave my partner. We separated and got back together four times, until I finally freed myself from the last internal cause. And then it was he the one who decided to leave me. I was better, ready to be free, and he felt it.
Allowing your own future into your present, to help you live an amazing life
None of those tragic events in my life were easy but coaching myself through them helped me to discover a way to eradicate the root cause of problems in our lives. You do deserve a better life, YES absolutely, and you can start right now, right here by making the decision that you will no longer accept average as a standard, that you are worth much more than your current situation and that you have a right to that better life. With my help you will make it happen: you will learn about yourself, de-tox from your family's emotional inheritance and connect with your true story, to be the wonderful person you are meant to be, and to leave a constructive legacy to future generations, so that our children can live and love as their true selves.