An emotion is a personal internal state that happens in response to something we experience. There are three kinds of emotions: good feelings, bad feelings and toxic feelings.
The good and bad feeling emotions are necessary for us because they make us experience life to its fullest potential. The toxic emotions are unnecessary. These emotions impair our ability to see things as they really are, compromising the quality of our lives. Toxic emotions are part of our family’s toxic emotional inheritance. They originate from our parents and other family members’ unresolved childhood issues.
Good feeling emotions are emotions like optimism, positivity, happiness, and excitment. Examples of bad feeling emotions are worry, frustration, anger, and boredom. If we are not intoxicated by our family’s emotional toxicity, both the good and the bad feeling emotions support us in living a balanced, good life. Otherwise they will be coverd up by a giant dark cloud (our family’s toxicity) that impairs our ability to express our individuality fully. In this case the inherited toxic emotions prevail and take the lead on our behavior. Yes, because when we carry inside of us our family’s toxic emotional inheritance, we have no choice and no control on much of what we feel, think and do.
Think for example of people who are repeatedly in the same type of unhealthy relationship, always finding the same kind of partner. Or people who keep getting fired for the same reason from any job they get, always, often unconsciously, repeating the mistakes on a loop as a result of their inherited toxic emotional baggage. Think for example of people who smoke. Smoking is equal to poison your body. No human being who knows the danger of smoking would smoke if he wasn’t under the influence of a inherited emotional toxic element that forces him to do it.
We are not inherently so stupid to manifest behaviors that hurt ourselves and others. There is something inside of us that forces us to make unhealthy and destructive choices, and often, we are not aware of it.
With that said, can we do something to get rid of the toxic garbage that was dumped on us and that is creating problems in our private and professional lives? Can we really break toxic dynamics, change poor attitudes and behaviors? Of course we can!
Starting with understanding that we have no control on the unhealthy choices that we make. Some will exercise “control” by eliminating one unhealthy behavior, but replacing it with another one, like giving up smoking and replace it with sweets. The internal toxic cause has not been eliminated therefore an unhealthy behavior keeps showing up in other forms or if we succeed in resisting temptation, we will always feel deprived, frustrated and unhappy. On the other hand, once you identify and eliminate the cause of this – your family’s toxic emotional inheritance – then you’ll never have to worry about this and, will enjoy your healthy behavior choices.
We can take responsibility to free ourselves from what forces us to make unhealthy choices and decisions. We all want to feel in control, but as long as we allow ourselves to be driven by the toxic garbage that we inherited, even minimal control is just an illusion; we will always be slaves, like puppets, driven by these inherited, invisible internal forces.
I challenge you to identify and take steps to eliminate the toxic emotional junk that your parents left you with. If you need support click here to request more information.
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About the author
Elena Perella is NOT a therapist, a psychologist or a psychiatrist; she is a coach who focuses on helping clients indentify the real reasons behind their suffering and problems. Born and raised on the beautiful Mediterranean island of Sardinia, Elena is passionate about what she does, and with good reason. Elena coached herself through a severe depression, eating disorders and domestic violence and her experience has led her on a journey of discovery of how to break out all of these challenges. As a result she created Sentidu Life Coaching to help people experience their own transformation and break free in the areas they feel stuck.