If you can’t look at your employees’ work and personal needs in a balanced approach then they might suffer and their performance could affect results.
This doesn’t mean that you have to constantly accomodate to their requests but that you should do it whenever possible. Managing your team with an approach of reciprocal consideration is mutually beneficial. It builds trust, commitment, and often helps everyone to find better solutions.
A flexible approach creates a healthy environment where employees feel free to use their capabilities and express their potential fully. When you trust them, they develop their abilities by looking at challenges in different ways. They know that they can count on you because you give them feedback, guidance, praise their achievements, and understand and meet their needs.
Flexibility, if balanced, helps you optimize your managment performance. And while many know this to be true, why can’t all managers be more flexible? The reason, often, is one’s family toxic emotional inheritance – a toxic baggage of emotions, conditionings, tendencies, beliefs, thoughts, unresolved childhood issues, etc. that your parents passed onto you.
Perhaps you were raised by parents who didn’t allow you to be yourself, who didn’t consider your emotional needs and didn’t encourage you to share with them your experiences. You grew up without taking care of this internal need, thinking that it wouldn’t affect you, or probably, believing that you would do exactly the contrary of how your parents did it. Yet you still find that you are generating similar results as your parents did and you find yourself dissatisfied with yourself and your life.
For example, if you were raised by parents who discouraged – or even punished – self expression then, now, in a management position you are very likely to have difficulties fully expressing yourself. This will greatly hinder your team’s growth and your growth as a leader.
Perhaps you are not even conscious of the fact that your approach is not flexible. While your team does suffer with performance-hindering issues, you can’t recognize the signs. And even if you are conscious of some of the underlined issues, you can’t initiate change because you don’t know how to do it. All this compromises the quality of your work and therefore the desired outcome, not to mention the frustration that you have to live with, especially in these unprecedented times that we live in now.
Your employees have to feel that you trust them but you should first know that you can trust yourself; you should know that it’s ok to express yourself and be open to others. In fact it’s beyond “ok”, it’s needed in order to nurture effective communication with your team (and everyone around you). Therefore an internal work is necessary to help you free yourself from your family’s toxic inherited conditionings that are holding you back. Only then you will break the wall that stands between you and effectively communicating with your employees.
It all starts with recognizing the toxic baggage that you inherited and that is holding you back from being the effective leader you could truly be, and with that knowledge you will be able to take steps to your personal and professional growth.
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About the author
Elena Perella is NOT a therapist, a psychologist or a psychiatrist; she is a coach who focuses on helping clients indentify the real reasons behind their suffering and problems. Born and raised on the beautiful Mediterranean island of Sardinia, Elena is passionate about what she does, and with good reason. Elena coached herself through a severe depression, eating disorders and domestic violence and her experience has led her on a journey of discovery of how to break out all of these challenges. As a result she created Sentidu Life Coaching www.sentidu.com to help people experience their own transformation and break free in the areas they feel stuck.